Kris Keimig

Archive for the ‘politics’ Category

My Last Point on Sarah Palin

In politics on October 1, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Ok. Totally sick of the Sarah Palin thing but I have to make one final point… then I am done because I literally HATE the fact that TV, radio and newspaper has been spending so much time on Sarah Palin.

I have been listening to NPR, CNN, MSNBC and FOX – trying to get all types of input in order to be somewhat “Fair and Balanced.”

But here’s the bottom line: She’s retarded. Like, not because she is a female, not because of her lack of experience, not because she took 6 years to graduate from a community college. She’s just retarded because she is dumb. VERY dumb…

Continue reading about Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin is Repeatedly Fornicating In the Presence of Your Wife

In politics on September 19, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Your country is about to get raped by a beautiful woman who is drawing her energy off of the men around her.
Why?
Because Sarah Palin is a Succubus. If you don’t know what a Succubus is then learn about it quickly.

Let’s explore the three reasons why Sarah Palin is a Succubus.

#1) A Succubus is beautiful woman who seduces men

… and Sarah Palin is a beautiful woman who seduces men

I haven’t slept in weeks and I’ve been beating off at very inappropriate times – like during the nightly news and when I am on eBay looking for planes. My wife is NOT happy.
sarah palin seduces

Continue reading on Sarah Palin is a Succubus

I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack

In politics on September 18, 2008 at 6:32 pm

I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack Obama!

barack obama with a pabst blue ribbon
Let’s be clear. I am voting for Barack Obama for president and, quite frankly, I think anyone who isn’t voting for him is a fucking retard (placing hand to ear to listen for the anger of the rich and/or toothless).

But here is the thing: I don’t want to have a beer with Barack.

I’m not sure when idea of having a beer with our president became an important running platform. I don’t remember ever hearing about people saying this about Jimmy Carter, Reagan or FDR (I was either too young or not alive)… I really feel like this idea only came out with the George Walker Bush Campaign. Having a beer with Bush became an important marketing tool to get him elected because it was, in fact, the only thing redeeming about that asshole.

Continue reading why I don’t want to have a beer with Barack