Life, Libations and the Pursuit of Boobs

New Hans Pritcher eBook & Site Launching

Kris Keimig — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:23:03 +0000

We just got word that Hans Pritcher will be launching a new dating & sex advice blog on October 31st.

… and even better, he will be launching his newest eBook entitled:

“The All-American Pickup: How to Stiff Arm Your Way to T.D.’s”

Here is the promo banner for the new book.

Continue Reading about Hans Pritcher’s Dating Advice eBook…

Must Love Hogs. A Hump Day Porno.

Kris Keimig — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:21:19 +0000

In honor our most ironically misunderstood day (Hump Day), I give you my porn for the week. Must Love Hogs – it’s an endearing drama about two people drawn together over their intense love for hogs (a.k.a. petermans).

Enjoy!

Bacon Pancakes for Brunch

Kris Keimig — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 04:50:54 +0000

Bacon Pancakes

Last night, before heading to bed, my wife told me she wanted pancakes for breakfast the following morning. No problem; we haven’t had pancakes for awhile, so it would be good to have some pancakes.

However, since we didn’t get to bed until 2am – after watching SNL and some crappy TV – I didn’t get up until about 11am and then I headed off to the gym upon waking. So my thoughts changed from pancakes (breakfast) to brunch. And then my thoughts headed bacon pancakes…

Here is what I ended up making:

Bacon pancakes with caramelized onions and walnut butter.

… and here is how I made them.

Continue reading about bacon pancakes…

Fuck You KFC. I Took Your KFC Challenge and You Failed.

Kris Keimig — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 07:15:42 +0000

The KFC Challenge. Have you seen these stupid comericials? Well, if you haven’t then let me sum it up for you.

Basically the deal is this: Kentucky Fried Chicken offers up the KFC Challenge where they ask a fake commercial family to try to go to the grocery store and buy ingredients for a meal (comparable to a KFC family meal) for less than $10. It’s a cute commercial that features a blonde-haired girlscout nazi asking for chicken at the supermarket butcher and a wannabe dork teenager looking for the Colonel’s “11 spices.” Cute but it started to wear on me after the second view.

Continue reading about the KFC Challenge…

My Last Point on Sarah Palin

Kris Keimig — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:37:13 +0000

Ok. Totally sick of the Sarah Palin thing but I have to make one final point… then I am done because I literally HATE the fact that TV, radio and newspaper has been spending so much time on Sarah Palin.

I have been listening to NPR, CNN, MSNBC and FOX – trying to get all types of input in order to be somewhat “Fair and Balanced.”

But here’s the bottom line: She’s retarded. Like, not because she is a female, not because of her lack of experience, not because she took 6 years to graduate from a community college. She’s just retarded because she is dumb. VERY dumb…

Continue reading about Sarah Palin…

Yes. Jerks Do Get More Women Than Nice Guys.

Kris Keimig — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:58:39 +0000

Back in June Feministe wrote a commentary on a “study” that was put out saying bad boys do get more girls. While I do really like Feministe blog, I’ve got some issues with their Do Jerks Get Laid More? post.

People in Relationships Have More Sex

In the post, they try to deconstruct what it means to “get laid more” by first telling us that people in relationships have more sex than single people. A point that seems to be true… at least, as far as the frequency of married sex to non-married sex goes.

Great point. Problem is: How cares? The point of the “study” (I am using study very loosing here) is not that jerks have more long term relationships and more committed, loving sexual intercourse – it’s saying jerks bang more chicks. i.e. Quantity not quality. As in, if you are out a bar, jerks are more likely to get a girl to go home with them, have sex with them and then never talk to them again.

Continue reading about Jerks Getting Laid…

Sarah Palin is Repeatedly Fornicating In the Presence of Your Wife

Kris Keimig — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 01:00:33 +0000

Your country is about to get raped by a beautiful woman who is drawing her energy off of the men around her.
Why?
Because Sarah Palin is a Succubus. If you don’t know what a Succubus is then learn about it quickly.

Let’s explore the three reasons why Sarah Palin is a Succubus.

#1) A Succubus is beautiful woman who seduces men

… and Sarah Palin is a beautiful woman who seduces men

I haven’t slept in weeks and I’ve been beating off at very inappropriate times – like during the nightly news and when I am on eBay looking for planes. My wife is NOT happy.

Continue reading on Sarah Palin is a Succubus…

Hey Margaret Cho, You’ve Got a Bald Spot

Kris Keimig — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 05:01:32 +0000

And it’s not your receding hairline, it’s your receding ability to be entertaining.

Though, to be fair, I’ve never thought you [Margaret Cho] were anything but unfunny. You’re sort of like the Asian Jeanine Garofalo without the quirkiness and jokes. And apparently she has a new TV show; that should be about as fun as watching a drunk retard calculate the tip at a fancy restaurant.

Continue reading on Margaret Cho…

I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack

Kris Keimig — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:32:13 +0000

I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack Obama!

Let’s be clear. I am voting for Barack Obama for president and, quite frankly, I think anyone who isn’t voting for him is a fucking retard (placing hand to ear to listen for the anger of the rich and/or toothless).

But here is the thing: I don’t want to have a beer with Barack.

I’m not sure when idea of having a beer with our president became an important running platform. I don’t remember ever hearing about people saying this about Jimmy Carter, Reagan or FDR (I was either too young or not alive)… I really feel like this idea only came out with the George Walker Bush Campaign. Having a beer with Bush became an important marketing tool to get him elected because it was, in fact, the only thing redeeming about that asshole.

Continue reading why I don’t want to have a beer with Barack…

Sarah Palin will not cooperate with a legislative investigation

Kris Keimig — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:00:43 +0000

Well… She’s well on her way to being a superior VP. Sarah Palin barely knows what the fuck the VP is and she’s already not cooperating with investigations.

Perfect. Can’t wait for the new McCain-Palin administration.

Continue reading on Sarah Palin no cooperating…