Life, Libations and the Pursuit of Boobs » politics

My Last Point on Sarah Palin

Kris Keimig — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:37:13 +0000

Ok. Totally sick of the Sarah Palin thing but I have to make one final point… then I am done because I literally HATE the fact that TV, radio and newspaper has been spending so much time on Sarah Palin.

I have been listening to NPR, CNN, MSNBC and FOX – trying to get all types of input in order to be somewhat “Fair and Balanced.”

But here’s the bottom line: She’s retarded. Like, not because she is a female, not because of her lack of experience, not because she took 6 years to graduate from a community college. She’s just retarded because she is dumb. VERY dumb…

Continue reading about Sarah Palin…

Sarah Palin is Repeatedly Fornicating In the Presence of Your Wife

Kris Keimig — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 01:00:33 +0000

Your country is about to get raped by a beautiful woman who is drawing her energy off of the men around her.
Why?
Because Sarah Palin is a Succubus. If you don’t know what a Succubus is then learn about it quickly.

Let’s explore the three reasons why Sarah Palin is a Succubus.

#1) A Succubus is beautiful woman who seduces men

… and Sarah Palin is a beautiful woman who seduces men

I haven’t slept in weeks and I’ve been beating off at very inappropriate times – like during the nightly news and when I am on eBay looking for planes. My wife is NOT happy.

Continue reading on Sarah Palin is a Succubus…

I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack

Kris Keimig — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:32:13 +0000

I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack Obama!

Let’s be clear. I am voting for Barack Obama for president and, quite frankly, I think anyone who isn’t voting for him is a fucking retard (placing hand to ear to listen for the anger of the rich and/or toothless).

But here is the thing: I don’t want to have a beer with Barack.

I’m not sure when idea of having a beer with our president became an important running platform. I don’t remember ever hearing about people saying this about Jimmy Carter, Reagan or FDR (I was either too young or not alive)… I really feel like this idea only came out with the George Walker Bush Campaign. Having a beer with Bush became an important marketing tool to get him elected because it was, in fact, the only thing redeeming about that asshole.

Continue reading why I don’t want to have a beer with Barack…